A day in the Life

Its a beautiful day, but I'm not feeling to happy. I woke with a headache, and it hasnt really gone aywhere. I taught my class to Elana and ricks brother, and got a nice hug from See.
I woke up still thinking about lst nite with K. Still stings, her being into me, and yet.. not. And then theres J.. whom i hug, and am still rejected by. Probably again by virtue of being nice. Though K said i wasnt overly 'nice', she also acknowledged her strongest feelings for me were when i ignored her. So, i better just teach myself to ignore women. It doesnt really make me happy, but then at least I'm not setting myself up for a big let-down.

So my bigger issue is these headaches, the right side of my head, through to the eye. maybe some sinus going on, too. Water doesnt fix it, though of course i need to drink more, and the last thing I should have done was to consume more chocolate. But i think this headache is just my emotional pain buffer, a game of pingpong that 'I' officiate. Maybe thats why i need to try thre drugs again. Yogas not doing it. In one way,. My body has been hurting, particularly, the head, shoulders, neck, heart, clavicle.

i should start taking the other stuff, as well - 5HTP, and the other serotonin precursors.

i need some professionbal focus to alleviate my social dysphoria - then again, all i want is to be released.